A House Without Walls

As stated in my previous post, I will attempt to give an alternate understanding of John 14. Why John 14? This was another section of scripture that was quoted at the funeral I attended which is quoted at a lot funerals for people within the Christian tradition, particularly of the evangelical persuasion. If you are part of a community that values the prospect of everlasting life in paradise above all else, this section is what you are basing that belief on.

First off a disclaimer; I don't know shit. Maybe, everyone else is right and I'm wrong. Could be. And what I'm offering is only one possible explanation of many. But, it seems to me, given the context, it has some merit.

To understand where I am coming from I need to explain one of the fundamental goals of mysticism. All traditions, Christian and otherwise have their mystics; for Christians it's people like Augustine, Theresa of Avila, Meister Eckhart, and even C.S. Lewis. Muslims have the Sufis like Rumi. Buddhist have ... well Buddha ... but others as well. etc. The thing to understand about all these mystics is that their ultimate goal - the reason they are called mystics - is that they are so in tune with God that there is no distinction between them and God. Here are a couple of Sufi quotes to give you the idea;

The Beloved gives us the water of life,

which cures every illness.

In the Beloved's rose garden of Oneness

no thorns survive.

I have heard it said that there is a window

between one heart to another.

But what supports the window

if walls have ceased to exist?

 Rumi

Remove me from myself ,

so that all that remains is you, Beloved.

Take my life so that I can stand in your Presence.

Let all that remains be you.

Hallaj

Nothing exists but you, Beloved.

You are my speech. You are the silence of my mind.

You sleep with me. You walk the path with me.

There is nowhere I can go where you are not.

I have disappeared. Only you remain.

Bulleh Shah

Back to John 14. The key section here is the one where Jesus says that in his father's house are many room, and he goes to prepare a place for [his disciples].
If you start reading this section at John 13 and keep reading to the end of John 17 you get a better idea of what this section is all about. There are two things that Jesus keeps harping about throughout these 4 chapters; One is that his disciples need to follow his example, and the other is that he and the Father are one; if you've seen Him you've seen the Father and vice versa. There are also some mentions of the Holy Spirit coming after he is gone so they know what to do when he's not there.

But it isn't about going to heaven.

To try and get a little clarity on John 14:2, I think you need to jump all the way to John 17:24-26

Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.

In John 14:2, and throughout these 4 chapters, I think Jesus is speaking as a mystic. He is saying, in parabolic language, that as he and the Father are one, so the disciples are to be as well. That he wants them in the same place (relationally speaking) as he is where there is no distinction between God, or Jesus, or them. When he says to them; "In my father's house are many rooms ... I go to prepare a place for you" he is saying come live with me in complete union with the Beloved where you disappear and only the Father remains; where not only the windows between you and him disappear, but also the walls.

The Other Side of Forgiveness

Most conversations about forgiveness usually focus on the act of forgiving; how do I do it, does that mean that I have to give that person full access to my life again, do I have to love them, do I have to forget about what they have done, and other questions. All these questions are very valid, and need answers. If you want to understand forgiveness I suggest "Exclusion and Embrace" by Miroslav Volf. It's a bit of a tough read, but I have never found anything that explains forgiveness as clearly and completely, so it's well worth the slog.

But there is another side to forgiveness which isn't discussed as much; asking for forgiveness. In order to have forgiveness happen - mostly - you need the forgiver and the offender. I sometimes think it's easier to be the offended party - the one that needs to forgive - and that's why most of our conversations centre on that aspect. It's easier to be the self righteous one, thinking that there's nothing I've done wrong, I'm in the right, it's them that needs to clean up their act.

So - I wonder if that isn't why there are passages in the Bible where we are told not to have communion until we've apologized to someone that has something against us. Or, in the Lord's Prayer where we are to ask, 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us'.

While forgiving is a hotly debated topic, I think asking for forgiveness is a lost art, and equally as important - if not more so, especially considering that Christians have managed to offend and alienate most of the rest of the world.

What about you? Do you find it easier to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness?

Need New Glasses

As I sit here typing this blog, I am wearing a pair of reading glasses. They help me see things that are within about 5 feet of my nose. I never used to need glasses, but as I turned 40-ish it started to become apparent that my arms were no longer long enough. But even with glasses, my eyes have slowly deteriorated, and I keep buying stronger and stronger ones - I now use prescription reading glasses for work.

The other day I started reading a new book by Shane Hipps (with my glasses). He was the teaching pastor at Mars Hill church when Rob Bell was there (not Mars Hill where Mark Driscoll is). The name of his book is; 'Selling Water by the River'. It seems to be about how we as Christians often confuse our  religion with what Jesus taught; how we end up worshiping our beliefs instead of God. You can see a short video clip promoting the book here where he uses a really good analogy comparing the wind and sails with Jesus and religion.

The interesting thing is that he doesn't totally dismiss religion and the beliefs that are an inherent part of any religion as irrelevant. In this quote the river is used as an analogy of God or Jesus;

Traveler or Tourist?

We‘ve been to Greece a couple of times in the past 5 years. The first time was for our 25th anniversary. We chartered a sailboat and spent 2 weeks sailing from island to island in the Ionian sea. It’s a wonderful way to travel. You get to see small harbour villages that most tourists never see; eat in quaint tavernas, always by the water; shop in what they call supermarkets which are the size of a 7/11 – it’s all very relaxing. After this....

To read the rest of this short article I wrote for St. Benedict's Table click here

Seeing Through the Eyes of God

Several years ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer – for the second time. He had previously been married, and in a cruel twist of timing, the day he started planning his second wedding, he also had to start planning his funeral.

Over the course of the next five years or so he steadily, and inevitably, declined. First getting thin from loss of appetite, and then getting thick, but only in spots, as the evil inside him started to show itself and take over his body.

I visited him regularly and did odd jobs for him around the house as his ability to do those things faded like an old memory, but sometimes we just sat and talked. Surprisingly, there was lots of laughter; he maintained his sense of humor to the end. Eventually he asked me if I would be co-executor with his second wife. I felt honored, so I accepted. All I would need to do is help her out with a few things he said.

Little did I know.

During that time I was part of the religious spectrum that believed one had to say the ‘prayer’ in order to get to heaven. So, one day, while we were visiting, I felt I needed to do my duty. I told him about God and how much He loved him - how it was never too late. Despite the sun streaming into the window there was a shadow of death in the room, and it made the whole conversation seem empty and pointless. So I hung my head and mumbled something about, as a friend, I felt I needed to tell him this, but I would never bring it up again - unless he wanted to. He politely thanked me, and told me that there were other people who had told him the same thing.

We never talked about it again.

Eventually he succumbed and, as promised, I helped his wife with the execution of the Will. Part of his estate was leaving a small sum of money for all his kids. His youngest daughter had challenges. Technically it wasn’t Autism, but you could easily be forgiven for calling it that. All the kids got their money, except the youngest, who we set up a trust fund for.

Over time everything was taken care of except the administration of the trust fund. And that’s when the fun started. His first wife wanted that money for herself - and wanted it bad - but we knew he didn’t want that.

When I was younger I would often go for a drive if I needed to work out a problem. Driving seems to put me into a meditative state where the possibilities are endless. One day while driving to work, I was thinking about his ex-wife and all the problems I was having. I must admit that some of those thoughts weren’t very Christian. I hated her: I hated her selfishness, I hated her greed, I hated all the grief she was causing me.

And then I felt bad.

After awhile the thought occurred to me; “I wonder how God views her?” And then another thought; “I should ask God to show me how he views her, maybe that would help”. So I asked God to show me how he sees her. I expected one of two responses; either nothing at all, or some kind of warm fuzzy glow in the middle of my chest, like a shot of Gin knocked back too quickly.

I wasn’t prepared for what actually happened.

My vision blurred. My nose plugged up. Within a minute I could barely see. I just about had to pull over to the side of the road I was crying so hard. The tears were burning rivers down my face, and the snot in my nose couldn’t get out fast enough. I was bawling like a schoolgirl rejected by her first boyfriend. These were tears of sadness and love, and they were inconsolable. They were the tears a parent sheds for a wayward child they love with every fiber of their being, and it destroys them to see the self-destructive path they have chosen.

It was terrifying.

In retrospect I don’t know if it was God or, as the Buddhist say, some moment of enlightenment, but it’s quite possible I will never make that request of God again. There was something very primal about it, yet very sacred. It was if I had stepped into an area where only God can dwell, and where only God should dwell. I felt like I was trespassing on a rich man’s property. I had touched the Holy and was found wanting.

I would like to say that everything worked out with his ex-wife, but it hasn’t. However, it did make me see that I cannot hate. But more than anything it made me see how much God, or whatever word you chose, loves us - all of us - not just those in our tribe: a love that’s meant to be lived through us.

Christianity as Poetry

Martin Buber is quoted as having said; "All of us have access to God, but each of us has different access. Our great chance lies in our unlikeness. God's all-inclusiveness manifests itself in the infinite multiplicity of the ways that lead to him, each of which is open to one person."

In Dueteronomy 30:14 the commandments of God are described as; "something very near to you, already in your mouths and in you hearts; you only have to carry it out."

In the parable of the two sons, Jesus says that the one who does the will of the father is the one who originally says he won't do it, but eventually goes out and does it anyway, not the one who says he will do it, and then does nothing.

I have often said that heaven will either be filled with a lot more people than we imagine, or a lot less. I'm beginning to lean towards the former. I think there are many, many people out there who don't call themselves Christians, but who are actually more 'Christian' than those who do. Somewhere along the way they've figured out that acting the way Christians are supposed to act is, in fact, the right way - it is something 'already in their mouths and in their hearts'. But that doesn't mean that those who call themselves Christians - even though they may be doing it badly, or different from us - are wrong. As Martin Buber says, they're simply coming to God in their own unique way. Peter Rollins argues that the sheer number of variations of Christian denominations and traditions out there is a testament to the fact that God cannot be known in his entirety, and that this is the way God wants it, so we don't end up making an idol of our particular brand of theology.

The poet Kathleen Norris in her book, The Cloister Walk, makes the point that Christianity is more like poetry than prose. And that when we take that poem, and start to break it down and analyze it, and turn it into dogma, that we lose the essence and beauty of it.

I must admit that I'm a bit like an ex-smoker who is the most critical of those who smoke. Because, as an ex-fundamentalist, it is fundamentalists that drive me the most crazy. But I'm starting to see Jesus' point when he said that those who aren't against us, are for us. And I'm starting to see that Christianity is more like poetry than prose, and I have to embrace the essence and beauty of it in all it's variations and differences. And I'm starting to see that no matter how right I think I am, I could still be wrong. And I'm starting to embrace the essence of Christianity wherever I find it: be it in the actions of someone who doesn't call themselves a Christian, the prostelizing of a fundamentalist, or the liturgy of the more traditional.

I think that the gospel, and God's love, is way bigger and more encompassing than any of us can imagine.

I sure hope it is, because my version is pretty puny.

Denying the Resurrection

"...we were having an argument about the resurrection, whether or not it had happened and whether or not it could be proved. One of my friends shared the story of how she had asked a liberal bishop if he actually believed in the resurrection. "Believe it?" he answered incredulously. "I've seen it too many times not to!"

This story comes from Diana Butler Bass' most recent book, "Christianity After Religion". She goes on from there to explain how we often get tied up in arguments about what we believe about the resurrection, and end up completely missing the more important question of "Do you trust in the resurrection?" What does she mean by that?

The cross is the most recognizable icon of Christianity. It wasn't always that way, but it is now. We see it in our churches, we wear it around our necks, we get it tattooed on various parts of our body, we put it on our bumpers - it's everywhere. Despite the many artistic variations of the cross, they can all be broken down into 2 basic forms: one depicting Christ on the cross, and one where the cross is empty. It seems protestants prefer the empty cross, while Roman Catholics and Orthodox prefer the the one with Christ on it - and each has their reasons for their preference. One emphasizes the death of Christ and Good Friday, while the other emphasizes the resurrection and therefore Easter Sunday. But I think this emphasis, as subtle as it is, is a mistake. It is a form of dualism, where we choose one over the other, when we should be embracing both equally.

Jesus came proclaiming the Kingdom of God, and showing us what that meant. He turned the rules of the day upside down with self sacrificing love. And when they nailed him to the cross for it, God vindicated him by raising him from the dead - in effect saying "See, I was right". Jesus on the cross shows us how much we are to love our neighbour, while the empty cross confirms that it's the right way to live.When the bishop says he has seen the resurrection too many times not to believe it, he is saying that he has seen people who's belief in the way of Jesus is so strong that they are willing go beyond normal forms of sacrificial love; that they are willing to embrace the radical, self sacrificing life of Christ. And when they believe in this way, their lives are raised from the death and decay of self destruction and emptiness to something beautiful and transformative.

The empty cross is the reason we believe, while Christ on the cross is how we live in response to that belief.

When Peter Rollins is asked if he believes in the resurrection, he answers "No". Then he goes on to explain that whenever he thinks a bad thought about someone, or whenever he fails to help a person in need, or whenever he acts in a selfish way - when he doesn't go the extra mile, or treat his neighbour as himself - he denies the resurrection. He is in effect saying, "I don't really believe in the resurrection, because if I did, I wouldn't do these things".

Do you believe in the resurrection? Do I?

No Pigs Allowed

And when he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men met him, coming out of the tombs, so fierce that no one could pass that way. And behold, they cried out, “What have you to do with us, O Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?” Now a herd of many pigs was feeding at some distance from them. And the demons begged him, saying, “If you cast us out, send us away into the herd of pigs.” And he said to them, “Go.” So they came out and went into the pigs, and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the waters. The herdsmen fled, and going into the city they told everything, especially what had happened to the demon-possessed men. And behold, all the city came out to meet Jesus, and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their region. (Matthew 8:28-34 ESV)

If you've gone to church very much at all, this is a familiar story. I have always wondered why Jesus was begged to leave, and why he sent the demons into the pigs.

It is unclear if these particular people were Jewish. And, if they were, what were they doing with pigs in the first place? Perhaps there is more to this story than meets the eye.

Jesus seldom did, or said anything that didn't have several layers of meaning. It occurred to me the other day that perhaps this was a living parable.

We as Christians tend to live our lives knowing that we aren't perfect; that there are all sorts of things wrong with the way we live the Christian life. We are willing to see, and admit to the common, acceptable, and perhaps visible wrongs in our life such as; jealousy, anger, selfishness etc. But when we start to let Jesus really work in our lives, he starts to point out the not so obvious things: things we may have buried so deep that we don't even see them, things that define us, and, sometimes things that have even been sanctioned by the church.

The pigs in our life.

And sometimes this becomes too much. We just want him to leave. To leave us and our life, and let us go back to living our comfortable, predicable lives. We're fine just the way we are - thank you very much - and we beg him to leave. But if we are serious about following Christ, we have to let him not only exorcise the demons that we can see, we have to let him get rid of the pigs that we don't see. We have to get rid of non-loving things like our attitudes towards gays and lesbians, people of differing religious beliefs, or that difficult person at work. They have to rush down the bank and into the sea.

Attitudes like this have no place in the Kingdom of God - just like a Jew had no business with a herd of pigs.

Predestination and Old Souls

Predestination: the idea that some people are somehow chosen to be children of God while others aren't, has been debated and argued for centuries. What if this is yet another example of something the church has profoundly misunderstood? What if people on both sides of the argument have missed the point completely?

The other night there were several people at our house. I was in the kitchen doing something and the rest were in the living room just chatting when suddenly everyone burst out in laughter. This is not an unusual
thing with this particular group, but when I came in, my wife explained to me that one of our members - who is more concerned with social justice than the rest of us - shared the fact that when she was younger, she thought that she wanted to marry a black guy to show that there was nothing wrong with that sort of thing. In and of itself there is nothing funny about this, but the reason it was so funny to everyone else is because it is totally in keeping with her personality, and that even at a very young age it was evident.

I didn't really think much about this until a couple of days later when I was trying to work through some other perplexing scenarios in the bible, and my mind wandered to predestination. Somehow my mind tied

The Complicity of the Church

You have probably heard it said that Satan's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist. But I wonder if he hasn't pulled an even faster one. One that actually gets some people into heaven, while keeping the majority out. One that has permeated the entire Church, and is so ingrained into Christianity, that very few people would even think of questioning it. Think about it: At least some people will question the existence of Satan, but very, very few Christians will question what actually drove them into heaven.

The wheels are in the box - or - Do as I say, not as I do

Did you ever have one of those moments where you think to yourself; "What was I thinking?" I usually have little moments like that, but the other day I had a bigger one.

It was pre-Christmas, and I was wandering through Costco looking for something specific (as if that justifies it). It was packed with shoppers and getting worse by the minute. Actually, to say wandering is a bit misleading, it was more like a speed walking at the olympics.

At one point I went past the section where they have all the bulky items that they don't really sell a lot of; things like mixers, filing cabinets - you know what I mean. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a smallish woman coming out of that section, struggling with a fairly large box.

She doesn't have a cart.

I assume she is heading towards the checkouts - I'm not. I remember thinking to myself; "Why doesn't she get a cart?" So I shrug my shoulders, and continue my search.

I get to the area that I think my item is going to be, but it's not. Growing more frustrated, it occurs to me that there is an area close to the checkouts where it might be, so I head that direction.

On my way to the checkouts I come across the same woman and she is obviously still struggling. We are now side by side. I look at her. She looks at me. We smile. I see that what she is struggling with is a set of luggage in a box. Then I say to her; "You know they have wheels?" She politely laughs and says; "Yes, but they're in the box".

We part company.

I find what I am looking for eventually, and leave Costco. It's not until I'm half way home that I realize what an idiot I am. I spout all this nonsense on this blog, and to anyone who will listen, that we need to reflect the image of Christ. That we are in this world to make a difference. Blah, blah, blah. But when I have an opportunity to live that - and do one small act of kindness - not only do I not do it, but I mock the person instead! I could have easily helped her; I didn't even have to go out of my way!

Ok, so, read previous post. God doesn't care about who I was, only who I am. I think I'll get into the lotus position and chant that mantra for a couple of hours. Maybe it'll make a difference.

How about you? Ever had one of those brain farts where you actions just don't fit your beliefs?

Who Are You?

Last night we watched the movie Cowboys and Aliens; not exactly an intellectual, or spiritual giant as far as movies go. But there was one interesting statement made in the movie.

The movie starts out with the hero not knowing who he is, or how he got there. The only thing he knows is that he's beat up, and has an odd bracelet on his wrist. As the movie progresses, he starts to realize he has a dark past. Part way through the movie, the preacher who he has befriended lays dying, and says to him; "God doesn't care who you were, only who you are".

Embracing Sin

I typically have 3 or 4 books on the go at any one time. They are usually fairly deep, which accounts for my watching too much TV: my brain sometimes needs the mind numbing aspects that only TV can give. One of the ones that I am currently reading is a book by Franciscan priest Richard Rohr entitled Falling Upward. (All you evangelicals out here take a deep breath and keep reading). It is quite fascinating. He makes several very insightful observations and statements, but the one that just stuck out at me is this;

Homeschooling and a Salt Restricted Diet

Tomorrow on the Drew Marshall show he is interviewing Nicole Cottrell. She's a Christian blogger who has some controversial views and posts. You can see her stuff at www.modernreject.com. One of the posts that she put up was called Confessions of a Reluctant Homeschooler in which she says that she has just started to homeschool her daughter, even though she has misgivings about it.

Recently I discovered that a girl I used to go out with homeschooled both her kids all the way from kindergarten to graduation in high school. I am almost offended by this notion, because as far back as I can remember I have thought that there is something not quite right about homeschooling, or even private Christian schools.

Smudges on the Window

I have just realized that having a blog is like wandering around your house naked with the windows open; it's all very liberating until someone looks in the window. However, while being caught unawares is one thing, it is quite another to stroll up to the window and press your naked, flabby body against the coolness of the glass in a hideous form of vertical prostration for all the world to see, which is what I seem to do at times on this site.

While I do not regret (so far) anything I have said on this site, because it was what I thought at the time, it is very much a record of my journey towards God which I hope never ends. I want to always be seeking and never arriving. If I ever state that I have arrived, then I know that I have missed God altogether and I hope someone loves me enough to shoot me.

Are Muslims Christians?

I fear I am leaning towards being a universalist. I don't think I'm all the way there yet, but the thoughts are definitely there. How can this be? I've always been taught that there's a special place in hell reserved just for universalists. After all, how are you supposed to feel self-righteous if you have no belief system that excludes anyone who doesn't think like you? But... it seems to be the only thing that makes sense.

Maybe the line in the sand - the line that divides non-christian from christian - is so hard to find, and define, because it's not there. Maybe there are only degrees of being Christian. Maybe when the bible indicates that christians will  become rulers and priests, it means that these people are the ones who have learned the most in this life, and are therefore worthy to be mentors to the others. Maybe this is the real meaning of the parable of the talents.

Does this mean that Muslims are Christian? Does this mean that any good deeds, done by anyone, all contribute to the kingdom of God, no matter who they are? Is this what Jesus meant when he said that whoever is not against you is for you. Does this mean that the sadness of the story of the rich young ruler is not that he failed to become a Christian, but that he missed an opportunity to enter into the true, and complete, kingdom mindset? That when he will be shown the error of his ways, during the final judgment, that even then he will reject the mindset of the kingdom - a mindset of self sacrificing love - because he is used to having too much?

Was Gandhi right when he said that he was Muslim and Hindu and Christian and jew and Buddhist?

I don't know. I think the jump from evangelical to universalist is too much. I think I'll go out and force myself to feel smug about my self-righteousness until this feeling goes away.

Look Ma, No Hands

“My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” This is the cry from the cross. The traditional interpretation is that God couldn't look on Christ anymore because of the sin of the world that he was carrying. When you think of it for awhile, you realize how ridiculous that explanation is. Since when can God not look on sin? Doesn't he have to look at sin in order to judge it as wrong? Hasn't he been looking at sin for millennia?

 The other view is that God moved away from Christ, such as in “the dark night of the soul”. But no one ever seems to give an explanation as to why. Perhaps God does move away, but not in the negative sense that most people would think of.

 Christ is the perfect model for how we are to live. He modelled for us perfect obedience and self-sacrificing love. Maybe God moved away from him in the same way as a parent moves away from a child learning to ride a bike.

 When teaching a child how to ride a bike, you run along side of them, holding onto the seat, keeping them steady until you sense that they have enough balance to do it on there own. And then you slowly release your grip on the seat, while still running beside, until they are doing it all on their own. Eventually they are riding down the street, all by themselves, without even realizing that you are no longer there.

 Maybe God saw Christ's perfect obedience on the cross and then slowly moved away, in the realization that his modelling of obedience and self-sacrificing love was now coming to completion. And, just as a child suddenly realizes that the parent isn't holding onto the seat anymore, there is a burst of fear and panic.

 Maybe in the closing moments of the cross, God was standing off to the side, slightly out of breath, but with a big smile on his face.

 “It is finished.”