Driving God to Drink

The camera slowly pans the auditorium from left to right. It's jammed with people. The voice-over tells us it holds 900 people, and the crowd has even spilled over into another room. It then starts to cut in closer and we see there are nests of people in the chairs -  six to eight - some hunched over with their elbows on their knees. They seem to be examining the floor like it's going to start talking to them. Others are sitting upright with their arms outstretched slightly, their palms facing up ready to catch a baby being tossed from a burning tenement house. It looks like their eyeballs would escape if it weren't for their lids being closed so tight. Their lips move, but we can't hear what they're saying. The little groups are everywhere. All doing the same thing.

It turns out this is a school auditorium. The voice-over tells us this school is located in a small city known for it's plethora of car dealerships - and it's religious conservatism. And they are praying. But what has happened? Has there been another senseless slaying of innocent children? A hurricane swept through town leaving hundreds dead? An ax murderer from Hawaii prowling the streets looking for wayward fruit?

No. They are fervently petitioning the Almighty because of anti-bullying legislation. The government has said that if you are a public school, or a private one that gets money from them, you have to have certain anti-bullying policies in place. And what, exactly, are they so upset about? Two things. They have to allow anyone who wants to set up a group such as a gay-straight alliance to do so, and they think the definition of bullying is too broad.

What is a gay-straight alliance you ask? Here's a definition from Wiki.

Gay–straight alliances (GSAs) are student-led organizations, found primarily in North American high schools and universities, that are intended to provide a safe and supportive environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) youth and their straight allies.

Sounds horrible! How can you possibly expect people who worship a God that defines himself as Love to be so accepting? Impossible, I say. Next you'll be expecting them to love their neighbour as themself. Not gonna happen my friend.

And what about this broad definition? The issue is that the legislation includes a statement that defines one of the symptoms of bullying as hurting someone's feelings. Now, I admit, this one could go sideways.

What it says is, any behavior

"intended to cause, or should be known to cause, fear, intimidation, humiliation, distress or other forms of harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem, reputation or property.”

 I'm not exactly sure how you remove the word "feelings" from that statement and still have anything worthwhile left over to work with.

Are we seriously fighting over the protection of vulnerable people because we don't want our religious sensibilities offended? Is this what conservative fundamentalism has come to? Besides, do you honestly expect someone who attends one of these conservative private schools to put up their hand in class and announce they are gay - even if there is a gay-straight alliance? This is why people send their children to a private christian school in the first place: so they won't be sullied by the world; so they won't have to deal with what the rest of us call... life. You'd be better off wandering into the polar bear pit at the zoo with your pockets full of hamburger. It would be worse than hell. You'd have half of them ostracizing you, and the other half trying to convert you. I don't know which would be worse. Maybe the bureaucrats in these private schools are actually doing the gay community a favour by classifying them as sub-human.  Now I realize there are other people that are bullied, but by far the largest group is the LGBTQ's, and the religious community has made it quite clear that these people are the problem.

It's at times like this that I imagine God walking to the front of his mansion, drawing the blinds, locking the front door, going up stairs and packing a small bag. He then sneaks out the back door for an extended vacation in the eastern Uzbekistan so the reporters can't find him. Perhaps drinking himself into a stupor on the flight over.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel... ...you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing."

Vacuums, Sex, and the Christian Life

As most readers of this blog will know, I listen to Drew Marshall on a regular basis. In fact, I get email updates on what's coming up for the next Saturdays broadcast. The other week nothing really interested me other than the regular segment called God Blogger. Every week he interviews someone who blogs on spiritual matters. I like to see who's out there in case there's someone interesting to follow. So far I haven't really come across many. Even some that seemed interesting on the show turn out to be ho-hum: probably like most people think of my blog. The other day at work things were quite slow, so I looked up the God Blogger for the next Saturday. He seemed more fundamentalist than I was prepared to invest any energy into, but one thing led to another and I ended up looking at material that was actually about one of the other guests that Saturday.

The other guest was a couple who had written a book on marriage. The particular article I was reading contained the 8 tips to a better marriage in their book. It turns out that the guy had been the pastor of a fairly successful church, but then he had an affair which ended his ministry, and just about ended his marriage.

The whole thing got me thinking about a time many years ago when the Promise Keepers phenomena was just starting. I went to a couple of events including a very large one in Minneapolis. There were lots of very dynamic speakers there, but truth be told, I don't remember very much other than, for some reason, that there were several on marriage. Most of the marriage topics went along the lines of, “Once I was an asshole, but I'm not anymore - let me tell you about it”. Which, if you are an asshole, should be very enlightening, and maybe even life changing.

For example, one of the speakers told the story about the time his wife was out of the house and it suddenly occurred to him to actually pick up the vacuum cleaner and start helping out around the house. Apparently when his wife came home she was so shocked and appreciative that they made out right there on the living room next to the vacuum cleaner. Obviously the only natural response to this kind of revelation is to go on a national speaking tour, and maybe write a book - it's all perfectly understandable.

You may have picked on the vibe that I don't care for programs like Promise Keepers, or Forty Days of Purpose, or, even books like the one that was written by Drew's guests, and the reason is very simple.

They're all missing the point of Christianity.

With all the talk, and teaching from the pulpit, of Jesus being our Saviour so that we can go to heaven when we die, we've forgotten the point of Christianity. As Peter Rollins says, the point of Christianity is not about having a life after death, but a life before death. It's about becoming fully human in the way that we were originally designed to be. It's about becoming the new people of God whose purpose is to be a blessing to the world. It's about following Jesus into a life of self sacrificing love. If you lack purpose in your life, I would suggest, you haven't come to know the one true God as incarnated in Christ. The life of Jesus has given all of us more purpose than any of us can possibly fulfill in a lifetime. If you call yourself a Christian and you're having trouble keeping your promises, maybe you need to reevaluate if you actually believe all that stuff you say you believe. As Gandhi said, if Christians were to act like Christians the whole world would be saved in a matter of years.

We don't need Promise Keepers to show us how to keep promises - we just need to believe that Jesus is actually Lord. We don't need Forty Days of Purpose to give us purpose - we just need to do what Jesus told us to. We don't need books on marriage that tell us how not to be an asshole, that should be a given if we call ourselves Christians.

If we are the Christians we claim to be, it's time to start acting like it, or stop calling ourselves Christians. If we don't, we are denying Christ, the Resurrection, and trivializing his crucifixion.

The Other Side of Forgiveness

Most conversations about forgiveness usually focus on the act of forgiving; how do I do it, does that mean that I have to give that person full access to my life again, do I have to love them, do I have to forget about what they have done, and other questions. All these questions are very valid, and need answers. If you want to understand forgiveness I suggest "Exclusion and Embrace" by Miroslav Volf. It's a bit of a tough read, but I have never found anything that explains forgiveness as clearly and completely, so it's well worth the slog.

But there is another side to forgiveness which isn't discussed as much; asking for forgiveness. In order to have forgiveness happen - mostly - you need the forgiver and the offender. I sometimes think it's easier to be the offended party - the one that needs to forgive - and that's why most of our conversations centre on that aspect. It's easier to be the self righteous one, thinking that there's nothing I've done wrong, I'm in the right, it's them that needs to clean up their act.

So - I wonder if that isn't why there are passages in the Bible where we are told not to have communion until we've apologized to someone that has something against us. Or, in the Lord's Prayer where we are to ask, 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us'.

While forgiving is a hotly debated topic, I think asking for forgiveness is a lost art, and equally as important - if not more so, especially considering that Christians have managed to offend and alienate most of the rest of the world.

What about you? Do you find it easier to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness?

The God of Second Chances

Shane Hipps tells the story about when he lived Phoenix. In Phoenix people tend to have rocks instead of lawns due to the lack of water. One day at his new house, he notices that there are weeds starting to grow in amongst his rocks, so he goes out and starts pulling them. As he is doing so, a neighbour walks by, and asks why he is pulling out the wild flowers. Shane tells the neighbour that he isn't, he's pulling out weeds. The neighbour then explains to him that these aren't weeds but flowers that the pervious owner had planted, which create a wonderful garden each spring. 

This story is told in the context of love vs fear. The point he is trying to make is that sometimes we are so fearful that we are afraid to do anything, for fear of getting it wrong. We're afraid to pull the weed for fear that it is actually a flower, but we're also afraid to let it go in case it actually is a weed. He says that in love there is NO fear, not even fear of making a mistake. Why? Because God is the god of second chances. He then goes on to say;

"...Here is a most wonderful thing about God. When we live with a sincere heart, God responds a lot like the wildflowers in my front yard. If I had pulled all the wildflowers and missed their bloom, amazingly they would come back again next year. They would give me another chance. In the same way, if we act on our fears too quickly and miss the message God has for us, the good news is that God is in the business of bringing new opportunities all the time. God is persistent in the giving of good gifts. Even if we flinch from the open hand of grace, mistaking it as an immanent slap, we are not disqualified from that grace. Grace just keeps on coming, gently, subtly, consistently. That is good news.

If we let the buds grow and they were just weeds, no blossom - no problem. That is when we pull the weeds. No punishment. Just a little work. The lesson is one of acceptance and trust that God is not out to trick us, but to offer us more freedom and love than we could ever exhaust. 

God even wants to release us from our fear of misidentifying fear. 

This is the way grace works. If we accept it, it is ours to enjoy. If we miss it, it keeps coming back. It's a free gift endlessly offered. When we're ready, the blossom will be there for us to enjoy. So a posture of hope, anticipation, and readiness is appropriate,  not fear.

Whether we are confronted about some new idea about God, a new calling in life, a new relationship, or the end of something we love, we must let the words of Jesus resound in our hearts - 'Take courage, it is me. Do not be afraid'.

Sometimes the thing we fear the most is sent to free us."

After I had read that, i sat there pondering it for awhile. It then occurred to me that not only are we given a second chance when we've screwed things up, but sometimes, we ARE the second chance. Sometimes, when someone else screws up a relationship, we become the second chance. Sometimes, when a fellow Christian has screwed up an opportunity to promote the Kingdom of God, we become the second chance. In a way, this is very comforting. If I screw things up, as I often do, God will provide a second chance, either to that person and/or for me to make things right. 

I know I've screwed up a lot of things. I also know that I've been provided with a lot of second chances. Was it one for one? I can't say - maybe it was, but I just wasn't paying attention. The important thing is to not be paralyzed by fear or what-if's, but to move forward in a love that knows no fear. 

Need New Glasses

As I sit here typing this blog, I am wearing a pair of reading glasses. They help me see things that are within about 5 feet of my nose. I never used to need glasses, but as I turned 40-ish it started to become apparent that my arms were no longer long enough. But even with glasses, my eyes have slowly deteriorated, and I keep buying stronger and stronger ones - I now use prescription reading glasses for work.

The other day I started reading a new book by Shane Hipps (with my glasses). He was the teaching pastor at Mars Hill church when Rob Bell was there (not Mars Hill where Mark Driscoll is). The name of his book is; 'Selling Water by the River'. It seems to be about how we as Christians often confuse our  religion with what Jesus taught; how we end up worshiping our beliefs instead of God. You can see a short video clip promoting the book here where he uses a really good analogy comparing the wind and sails with Jesus and religion.

The interesting thing is that he doesn't totally dismiss religion and the beliefs that are an inherent part of any religion as irrelevant. In this quote the river is used as an analogy of God or Jesus;

Traveler or Tourist?

We‘ve been to Greece a couple of times in the past 5 years. The first time was for our 25th anniversary. We chartered a sailboat and spent 2 weeks sailing from island to island in the Ionian sea. It’s a wonderful way to travel. You get to see small harbour villages that most tourists never see; eat in quaint tavernas, always by the water; shop in what they call supermarkets which are the size of a 7/11 – it’s all very relaxing. After this....

To read the rest of this short article I wrote for St. Benedict's Table click here